The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
