i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Holy shit dude........stairs
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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