Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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