So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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