is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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