I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
