Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
