Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
