Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
