If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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