"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
