So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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