wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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