just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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