she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
