So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
