this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
