So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
