i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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