Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
