I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
