I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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