I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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