i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
