so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize