fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize