what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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