xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
