Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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