I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
You can't motorboat a personality
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
