Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
