guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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