The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
