It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
