just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
