she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
