Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
