oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize