I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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