Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
