My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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