just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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