I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
