Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
