dude i'm inner monologue high
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
