don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
