I need to stop coming to work sober
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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