just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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