if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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