theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
