so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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