i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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