So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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