I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
