How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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