First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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