I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
