If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
