Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
