I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
