hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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