you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
worst night to have a conscience
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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